More Script Writing

Today I continued writing my script, and realized the past two times last week that I had worked on it I hadn't got much done. I realized this was because in my mind (as opposed to where else?) I was constantly throwing out lines and ideas before they hit the paper. To me they seemed too 'overdone' or 'cliche' with modern day movies and works for my taste. This whole struggle with the concept of 'original' again. I decided that I am just going to go with where ever the script takes me, sort of like a blog post. Instead of 5 lines which I had accomplished last Wednesday, today I completed a page. I think It is going rather well. I have come to terms with the fact that most of my work doesn't get finished fully or I have to assume a fall back, but I will accept defeat when the time comes, but for now, back to writing!

To be or not to be STAC live

Today we had the discussion of STAC live. As a prerequisite I would like to inform you all I am not writing this simply online because I don't have the courage to say it to you all in person but there might have been a miscommunication on what I was fully trying to express in class today to why I do not want to be a part of it. With the kids in charge, people aren't obviously all going to be equal in power. I feel that drama will eventually start, and as Luke said in class today its a part of something you have to go through and I am fully aware. My personal feeling is that at first things are going to go very well like today. Then there is going to be a slow decline of cooperating and an incline of arguing. The thing I like the most about having Luke in charge is he makes the executive decision and has way more experience in everything than we do. If you clash ideas on a project he will tell you which idea is better to go with or to start over or to guide you where you need to go. With kids its not the same because now the class is basically a democracy. I opted out because I feel eventually everyone will give up and due to drama little work will get done. I want to get work donel. This is my opinion, you are all free to your own but this is mine. I would be more than happy to be proven wrong but because of this thought I am doing my own personal project. I went back to my script I wrote in the first month of school about split personality disorder (DID) before my camera was stolen. Kadambari and Sabrina volunteered to act in it as the smaller parts this way I can finish it much faster as opposed to being all parts and the camera girl. I am also working on another script which I hope to be done soon and then film. In conclusion I hope to have one short film and a movie trailer finished by the time STAC live rolls around. This is alot of work but I hope to bang it out and get it done, if not I can always assume a fall back.

STAC Art

Today I got much accomplished regarding my STAC art project. The media was painting with acrylics and it reminded me how much I liked to paint. I used to want to be an artist when I grew up and on my weekends all I would do is stay home and paint, if you have seen my basement the whole wall is covered with paintings of flowers from 4th grade. The only problem I feel I'd have with painting is patience- I have none. I think I might start painting again as a type of method to relax and if it sucks oh well. Today I just liked painting, there is really not that many ways to describe it than that.

Improv

Today after Luke's long interactive lecture on the mono myth of the hero we did some improv. At the end of class Luke said I had a good moment but I didn't really see it. For improvisation in general I feel that I am too lost in my own head thinking of one or the other: character or lines. In my experience from today I had done two different things for two separate improvs. The one with Peter and I focused on trying to say lines and not have a block, but the one with Kadambari I was so focused on my character that I at one point I didn't even know she was crying. I am going to try and have to figure out how to get a happy medium.

What 'The Fall' Told Me

The message this movie sent me is never lose your imagination. While watching the movie when Roy just kept killing off all of the main characters it broke my heart and the little girls. It made me realize that without our daydreams and imagination we lose hope and drive. Whenever I daydream or imagine a thousand different scenarios of a situation that just happened to me that was much better than what actually occurred, it makes me happy. It also makes me hopeful that someday my imagination and day dreams would come true and without them I would lose hope and without hope I really would not have a purpose.

The Math of me

The three words I came up with so far are going to be broken down but this is what I have come up with so far and I am going to continue working on this math problem until I get the right formula. The one I have now seems to fit at the moment.

1. Independence
2. Determination
3. Love

Questions 1 & 2

1) You've worked on a group film and on your own. In which situation are you most comfortable - group or solo? Which do you work best in?

I find working in both to be comfortable, but I find working in a group gets much more done in a littler amount of time and you have more people to rely on if you screw up.

2) What did you learn that you expected to learn?

That you can always use more time to do something. I assumed that I was going to need more time to do what I needed to get done and if not I’d have to cut unnecessary parts of the film.

3) What did you learn that you didn't expect to learn?

Always keep track of your equipment and when you are working by yourself you tend to not be as nervous because it's only you performing for you.

4) What didn't you learn that you expected to learn?

I expected to learn where in my field of acting I need to improve after watching my film, but seeing as my footage was stolen I did not have this opportunity.

5) Praise your amazing achievement and explain your brilliant plan for pulling it off.

I did so well for having my footage and camera stolen! Instead of throwing a fit and deciding to do nothing, I handed in my script with an idea I was very proud of for attempting.

____________________________________________________________________________________

1) How much time did you spend working?

I worked the first three days of STAC researching, writing, and filming but after my camera was stolen I handed in my script as a fallback.

2) How much time did you spend thinking about the work - sort of sitting there and staring at it, or listening to it over and over again, etc.?

Since the day we were given the assignment I had come up with the key concept of multiple personality disorder but the whole weekend we were given to figure out exactly what we were supposed to decide I kept thinking of how I would be able to pull it off.

3) How much time did you spend doing other stuff that seems like work to that make you think you're working but you're not?

I felt I did work in most of the time I was given but when I was stuck with writing the script or editing it, I would listen to Judas by Lady Gaga on replay to try and take inspiration from the song.

4) How much time did you spend socializing?

It was on and off, if someone said something funny I’d comment or say a few sentences but mostly I never stopped what I was doing to have a full blown conversation.

5) How did you use your community?

I needed someone to take pictures for the 'mug shots' in my short film and Sarah helped me out with that. Sabrina shined a flashlight in my face and played a recording of my voice because I wasn't able to do all this at once.

6) Rip apart your awful project and how did such a disaster happen?

This disaster happened because I was disorganized and thoughtless. The most important part of my film was having my camera, not having my make-up, I should have put the camera away in my bag first and then I would not have lost it in the first place. Also, because there was only one of me to do everything I needed to be everyone and do everything and this left me to be disorganized and scatter-brained resulting in the loss of my camera.

7) You've completed a step on your path. What is your next step?

I am not sure on what exactly my next step is; all I know is that I want it to be something I normally wouldn't want to attempt. My goal is to try and do everything that scares me this year so therefore I am not scared to take risks anymore.

 

Last day - intensives

I came across an unexpected catastrophic mountain in the road today. I lost/ got my camera stolen. Sucks. I lost all my footage previously shot and today I didn’t want to try to even save it for two reasons. One, I was just in a terrible mood from being irresponsible and leaving my camera somewhere in the first place. Second, I either go all the way or not all. There is nothing that I hate more then not being proud of what I am presenting and if it’s not my work I tried my best on I am not that proud of it.  As a fall back, the only thing I have left to prove I did anything is my script, which I will be handing into Luke to read. Whoop de freakin’ do. So interesting, but I am looking forward to see how other peoples projects came out tomorrow!

Day three intensives

Today, I learned to appreciate having more than just myself on a video project. The problem I ran into today was mostly because it was only me playing every part and doing everything, it took me a lot longer to do things that would normally be faster when you have more than just yourself. I am not going to be able to finish this short film and I am going to have to figure out a way to make it even shorter than it already is. I feel that I will go back to this project sometime soon BUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE CAST AS THE CHARACTERS.  I filmed all of one characters lines and three short scenes and due to lack of time realized I didn’t need the first two scenes of my short film. Hopefully I can swing filming everything tomorrow and edit it when I get home at night!

Day two of the intensive

One of my biggest problems, I feel that this project is going to come out more funny then I intend it to. I want it to be suspenseful and scary but seeing as my biggest problem is I am the only one that can be in the film, playing every character, I feel it is going to be more confusing than it under normal circumstances would. Making people laugh for me would take away from the drama I tried to create and what I am going for. Today I wrote a half-assed script for my short film. When I got home I typed it. That is basically it for today.

Day one of the intensive

Starting off today was a little bit challenging because I know in my mind that when I pick out a certain idea I usually get attracted if it's a good one. I had an idea to do some type of monologue with a character that has Dissociative identity disorder (in other words multiple personality disorder,) reason being is that I could technically play multiple characters in one its basically the coolest thing I could come up with that only includes one person - me. I also wanted to play very dramatic parts because I am afraid to do so and over the summer my motto is to do almost everything that scares me. I had this previous idea over the weekend to do a short video where one personality commits a murder and the others are completely unaware. I thought it would be cool. So today I did some basic research on DID and just made the identities/names of her multiple personalities. I also wrote down some dialogue or some actions to give me a sense of what to do when I am filming because most of it is going to be improv with a little scripting beforehand due to my lack of time, and that is all I did today.

The Seven Questions

1. What is the first creative moment you remember?

The first creative moment I remember was back in 4^th grade doing a unit on Georgia O’Keeffe and seeing her fascination with flowers. When my art teacher Mr.G was showing us the pictures of her flowers I decided I was going to paint a bunch of flowers using different textures and paints when I left that day and I did.

2. Was anyone there to witness or appreciate it?

No only me myself and I.

3. What is the best idea you’ve ever had?

The best idea I’ve ever had is producing my video on abuse last year for STAC Night.

4. What made it great in your mind?

What made it great to me is being behind the camera and seeing my vision come to life on a subject that fascinates me. Also the idea and video being so sophisticated and out of my comfort zone made it a great idea.

5. What is the dumbest idea?

The dumbest idea I had was using watercolors on an expensive sketchbook of acrylic canvases. To add to that I didn’t even decide what I was going to paint I just thought it would come to me like it did to people in the movies.

6. What made it stupid?

That the canvas was not made for watercolor so the textures of the paper made everything look bad and muddy. The part about just winging it turned into 12 pages of scribbles and blotches of paint, and then I didn’t have the patience to let it dry and proceeded to get the pages stuck together and ruin the already terrible scribbles with pieces of torn off canvas from the page above it.

7. Can you connect the dots that led you to this idea?

Being lazy is key for all of the reasons that led me to this stupid and dumb idea. One, I did not want to do any research or work off a picture of something because I was lazy and did not feel like doing any work. This idea was just my way of trying to improve my work with new paper but I didn’t do anything to prepare beforehand. I just figured that because my parents complimented my work that it was good, and because the flowers I had previously done beforehand on oaktag were freehand and that the same idea would come to me with this even though I was not painting flowers.

Working day 9

Today I kinda shit away my day, the only thing I did was figure out locations of where I am shooting the video and what actors I have are playing what part. I plan on reading up on camera shots.

Working day 8

Today I taped all the index cards on the wall outside of the STAC room. I then organized them in order and by location which helped me organize my thoughts and focus A LOT. Then I FINALLY finished writing the storyline and I am presently proud of my work. To me the idea obviously isn't original but I think its a nice story line and meaning. I also realized that I need more time to film then I expected. Thank goodness I gave myself extra time to film otherwise I'd be screwed. Starting tomorrow I am going to look it over with Luke get his ideas and then revise if necessary. I also need to figure out what locations I will be shooting at, I already have a few I know of but I need to still make some adjustments and such. Then this weekend I will be doing some reading up on shots so I have some prior knowledge for filming. I also have to ask my actors/actresses when they are available so I can make a filming schedule.

Work Day 7

I am starting to get agitated with myself, I want this video to come out really nice and I still have not finished these damn index cards. I kept thinking of different things I could do instead of ideas I already had and that kept slowing down my getting stuff done process. In the end of the day I have to get a final project done and because in my head I see what I want and wrote it down on the index cards very detailed if I want it to be half as good as I imagine I need to hurry up and get the index cards done. Basically I didn't waste the day but I was going slower (if possible) than a snail and need to get a move on.

Working day 6

Today I just about finished up how the necklace in my music video is going to end up to where it was in the beginning of the video, which took a lot of thinking and idea throwing out. I didn't get as much done today was I wanted to, I wanted to completely finish the index cards today so starting tomorrow I could type them and figure out where I am going to be shooting my video. I got all the actors I need for the video booked that they'd do it today. I mean, I wanted certain people for certain roles so I had specific people in mind for each. Luke gave me a book about shots so I am going to read the chapters that apply to myself probably sometime over this weekend or if I get what I want done tomorrow - Thursday or Friday. I also have to google " how to do an underwater shot" because I want to attempt one so badly (because I have a water proof camera) and I think it would look freaking cool.

Working day 4

Again I continued to write index cards for my video. I listened to music while doing this and since they songs playing were sad I incorporates death, I never thought of doing it but I guess it influenced me in some way. I watched vampire diaries as it is a BIG influence on me and I am starting to think the reason why I want to do scenes with raw emotion and really no speaking is because on that show everything is so intense and I look forward to almost crying, having my heart flutter, and waiting for the next thing to happen. Every time on that show when you think you know whats going to happen it flips a damn switch and you have no idea whats going on and you're two steps behind. There's obviously a lot of abuse on that show too, but more just physical with vampires and werewolves trying to kill each other and such.

Working Journal Day 3

Really I didn't do much exciting work today, just wrote more shots and actions on my index cards, got the next part of my storyline completed thanks to my community Kalli with "finish that sentence," After a necklace is sold to a pawnshop owner ___ buys it . She had a great idea I basically stole/ morphed into my own idea. I am most likely going to watch a couple movies to hopefully get more ideas for the video.

Day two - Very original titles

Today I spent about a period and a half wasting my time on trying to find the perfect song for my music video about abuse, but Luke pointed out it doesn't need to be a music video - to let the stairs take you where they may. I really like the storyline I came up with for my "music video" more than I really focused on the actual song. Personally, I don't want the video I am writing to have any dialogue. I want the video to focus on the powerful emotions and the actors portrayal of the characters and their persona. Now I am going to be writing the actions on index cards and focus my thoughts that way. I hope it was more productive than today! I am also getting a play from Vivian to read too, to further invest myself in my topic of abuse.

Working Day One

I usually don't post many blogs and I almost forgot to do tonight's, but today I worked on the research of my music video. In my music video I decided I have a strange obsession with abusive relationships. In my music video I wanted there to be all kinds of abuse shown in the different stories that will be going on. I focused mainly on the Psychology of Abusive relationships and mostly its all fascinating. I took some notes on the persona of the victim and the persona of the abuser and things such as why the victim always go back to the abuser. From the research I was looking up symptoms of abusive relationships and for one (sexual) for obvious reasons I wasn't thinking of including it, but there was just one sign that I needed to which is an "unwanted pregnancy." I thought this was a brilliant idea and look forward in trying to (hopefully) incorporate it into my music video without it being too risky.

Acting: Take two

When starting out this year I was cocky, to be quite honest I thought I was like one of the great actors and I don't mean this in a "feel bad for me I am so pitiful," kind of way. I like being honest with people. When I realized I wasn't, I guessed I was shocked, because I was living in my own little bubble of graceland where I am the best at basically everything. Yes, I guess you could say that I didn't really know if I wanted to continue acting ... for all of about 5 seconds. After it dawned on me that you need to work at something practice and practice, I reasured myself that this is what I love to do, even if I suck.

Moving on, working on the acting  I liked the cold reads better. For me it is less pressure, no one was given the time to work on it therefore I can't be the only one to do something wrong! When we were given the time to go over the scene analyze, find the objectives and create beats I have a tendency to over think things. Aside from that, Sabrina and myself had gone over the scene at least 10 times and every time it got better and felt more realistic. I started to use my script less for lines, became more aware of my body I actually reacted to the words coming out of her mouth. Next we decided to preform our scene in front of  Andrew and Alex - this changed the atmosphere. To me I immediately got much worse than I had previously preformed. My nerves get the best of me, for all I know it could have looked like I had to pee I was pacing so much. I call this NBA, it stands for "No Body Awareness." It surfaces when mentally I am lost, the same happens to me physically.

Then preforming in front of everyone was just like you melted a piece of butter - I dissolved. I couldn't remember what to do or what to start of as disappointed, understanding, angry? Sometimes I just get so nervous and stuck in my own head I am a bad acting robot. After Luke explained to me I could use those to my advantage and saw it in action with Danny. It gives me hope and something to look forward to for tomorrow I guess?

Acting Why are these people important?

Constantin Stanislavsky created the method of physical acting, that it is the emotional reactions of an actor are the basis of an actors creativity, spontaneity, and the essence. Michael Chekov the nephew of Constantin Stanislavsky created the idea of naturalism which is attempts to create a perfect illusion of reality through a range of dramatic and theatrical strategies. Lee Strasberg founded method acting. This method was when you need to repeat a performance that you have to have an emotional memory. Robert (Bobby) Lewis asked questions such as "Why," "What," and "How." Meaning for this modern acting has to have a line that connects their head and heart. Stella Adler beliefs where that an actors talent lies with imagination, needs past experiences to connect with the play. Sanford Meisner went with the method of Emotional Recall meaning an actor uses personal emotions to feed their process.

These are all important definitions and people to know for this week, because the acting group will probably be using them. Approaching acting in many different ways such as some of them above. We had been given the assignment to analiyze scripts so we might be analiyzing other works with the different methods or need to identify them.

Expressionism

To me Expressionism is passion, deep dark passion that seems to spawn from the brink of death in its own twisted many ways. It has its own way of communicating and sets a tone of for all to be invited to join its ways. Expressionism reminds me of the essence of fear itself and reminds you it's good to be afraid of all your deepest fears that you try to hide and brings them out to the surface to play.