Acting Exercise

I found this exercise to be interesting because buying into the 'scene' is not really buying into what you're saying and believing its real, but more the relationship and or debate with the others in the group. Sometimes you start to fall out of the scene such as when caitlin and I were discussing how to kill Nora's parents I laughed because killing a girl's parents due to the fact they gave birth to an ugly girl and named her Nora is quite ridiculous/far fetched. I am also looking foward to working on my 'the one that got away' project when I have the chance, which is good.

Blogging #2

Friday we went over different roles we play in a conversation. I found switching from role to role to be easy. Sometimes being disinterested in a conversation and becoming internal is nice for a change. Where as being a listener is fun too in hearing everyone elses opinions. It just helps me figure out where I stand in a conversation and where the people around me stand too.

BLOGGING

Yesterday I took some of my "The One that got away," photo's with Lisa. The experience of not having to worry if the project comes out shitty was really nice. Instead of having all this pressure we still took our photos but the experience was much more enjoyable. For my survaillance photo I first had this idea of a drug deal in my head because in many crime scene shows I watch there is always a sketchy drug deal done near a car so stealing this idea I told Lisa, Danny, and Danielle that they were a part of a drug deal. I kept snapping pictures while they did whatever they wanted and at one point Danny turned his head to face the camera to ask if I was done and it looked really cool on film, so I told him to do it again but instead of waiting for him to turn and then his face to change I kept snapping shots. The one I ended up choosing I then edited using an app called 'Wood Camera' and made the photo black and white with a grainy filter. I kept stairing at the picture and thought to myself that it was too wide, so I zoomed in so you could see the people a little bit better. Then I zoomed again still not liking the way it had looked previously. After a while I just liked Danny's face and body language toward the camera. It looked creepy as if he was up to no good which is exactly what I was trying to get across. When I kept seeing the picture all I thought was this looks like one of those wanted posters they hang at tthe police station. When I was talking to Luke he mentioned that the story you put behind it or how you frame it, a caption, thats what matters the most. So I am going to make a wanted poster to 'frame' the picture.

Today I went to the library with my group I googled 'how to make a bad movie' and after clicking a few links found a website filled with movie reviews of how terrible all these movies were. One was about a two headed shark eatting college students and the review said how they wished the shark had tweleve heads just so the movie could go faster. I thought it was so funny I told Courtney I wanted to do that because I thought it would be funny. Then she suggested we use horse heads instead which was a brilliant idea.

Last week

I like being in the "photography club" so to speak. Even though I am the newbie its all very new and interesting. The distance with the white background was only brought to my attention when someone else said it but as soon as it was mentioned I paid more attention to it as pictures were taken. One thing I find to be very annoying are the shadows the light casts, or when the subject you are shooting moves and you have to start all over again. Its very frustrating. I liked the whole art therapy thing we did, because it was dead on. I do feel trapped. I feel like an outsider. I don't mean to be conceited but I feel that I am so different from everybody else which probably isn't true or I am exaggerating or something else but I am always looking for a metaphorical way to escape from reality. Watching TV or reading, it makes me believe I'm someone else for a time, but I've come to realize that I can no longer escape because escape is avoidance and how am I suppose to live my life avoiding it? I guess I am always changing and unpredictable. When I took the eneagram test last year I was an 8 'the challenger' but I think when Luke had asked me about being another number that stood for 'skeptic' I would most defiantly have to agree. I always asking myself what people want from me. There's always an ulterior motive, its all humans in fact but I guess I am just more aware than others. I am going through a soul searching thing right now I will let everyone know how it goes, after I figure it out for myself that is.

Blah Phase

I am at the moment going through a blah phase. I don't know why. I can't motivate myself to do anything. Not grades, sports, making YouTube videos, or even the arts. I was suppose to have all the definitions and such for lighting equipment memorized and blogged about but I haven't even looked up a single word yet. Even though I could possibly have my ass handed to me for this incompleteness. The only thing I can do is watch TV, and for that matter, just this weekend I must have seen 5 episodes of Grey's Anatomy, Inception, and 10 episodes of The Walking Dead. It's 11:45 PM and I haven't even started any of my other homework yet, and truthfully I cannot be bothered. I want something to motivate me, something to work hard for, to have a burning passion that I am just itching to fill. Nothing. Empty. That is all I am feeling. I don't know what I am missing yet but I like to watch TV because for however long that episode or show is I am not me anymore and seems to stop. Instead of living my life I am living vicariously through characters on TV. I don't know what to do about it.


On another note:

I was going to put up a blog post on Friday as kind of a review for all of last weeks work we did, but again, in the moment it might be fun but as soon as I leave the room, I leave empty with no drive to do it or talk about it. Photography with Danny and Lisa was interesting but I just don't know what to do about the passion part of the arts, because it is slowly slipping away. Improv again was fun when I was doing it, but then as soon as I got home I could care less, and I don't like it.

Today we did #1

Today was not the greatest when filming the scenes we practiced for STAC live. I didn't have my lines memorized that well anymore, there were many mistakes, and I realized that most of the time I was taking Megan's job and disagreeing with her a lot, but then finally realized I am the actor, not the director and just did whatever she told me to do. Another thing I learned was the importance of having lines memorized because once saying them is just muscle memory you get to add the as-if and movements and such. I was really looking forward to the fashion photography research I was going to do today but that didn't happen. I want to do it so badly hopefully we get to start those projects soon!

Artistic Inquiry

For Christmas I had received a video lighting system. As soon as I got it, all I want to do is take pictures with it, even though that isn't what its for. I want to explore fashion photography. I love to style people and after I research, I want to try a hand at photography. I already have a pretty good idea what I want my theme to be. I want to do different personalities which fascinate me.

Getting Work Done

Today in class we had a discussion about the grading system. I am not sure if my previous post about the acting workshop went up but blogger told me it has so I'll assume it has. When Katherine was just messing around doing the cup song from the movie Pitch Perfect. It gave me a quick idea for a STAC live commercial and with the help of Julian and a couple extras all the footage needed for it is done, tomorrow we just need to edit and then as well tomorrow we will defiantly be filming two more commercials possibly three if we have time. We also changed the "Mommy Mute" to "Mean Girl Mute" so we can film it at school and get more done.

More Script Writing

Today I continued writing my script, and realized the past two times last week that I had worked on it I hadn't got much done. I realized this was because in my mind (as opposed to where else?) I was constantly throwing out lines and ideas before they hit the paper. To me they seemed too 'overdone' or 'cliche' with modern day movies and works for my taste. This whole struggle with the concept of 'original' again. I decided that I am just going to go with where ever the script takes me, sort of like a blog post. Instead of 5 lines which I had accomplished last Wednesday, today I completed a page. I think It is going rather well. I have come to terms with the fact that most of my work doesn't get finished fully or I have to assume a fall back, but I will accept defeat when the time comes, but for now, back to writing!

STAC Art

Today I got much accomplished regarding my STAC art project. The media was painting with acrylics and it reminded me how much I liked to paint. I used to want to be an artist when I grew up and on my weekends all I would do is stay home and paint, if you have seen my basement the whole wall is covered with paintings of flowers from 4th grade. The only problem I feel I'd have with painting is patience- I have none. I think I might start painting again as a type of method to relax and if it sucks oh well. Today I just liked painting, there is really not that many ways to describe it than that.