Last week

I like being in the "photography club" so to speak. Even though I am the newbie its all very new and interesting. The distance with the white background was only brought to my attention when someone else said it but as soon as it was mentioned I paid more attention to it as pictures were taken. One thing I find to be very annoying are the shadows the light casts, or when the subject you are shooting moves and you have to start all over again. Its very frustrating. I liked the whole art therapy thing we did, because it was dead on. I do feel trapped. I feel like an outsider. I don't mean to be conceited but I feel that I am so different from everybody else which probably isn't true or I am exaggerating or something else but I am always looking for a metaphorical way to escape from reality. Watching TV or reading, it makes me believe I'm someone else for a time, but I've come to realize that I can no longer escape because escape is avoidance and how am I suppose to live my life avoiding it? I guess I am always changing and unpredictable. When I took the eneagram test last year I was an 8 'the challenger' but I think when Luke had asked me about being another number that stood for 'skeptic' I would most defiantly have to agree. I always asking myself what people want from me. There's always an ulterior motive, its all humans in fact but I guess I am just more aware than others. I am going through a soul searching thing right now I will let everyone know how it goes, after I figure it out for myself that is.